I really feel like something happened the days following the purchase of our Hawaii trip. That is the last point in time that I recall feeling like “I have this!”
Since that point in time the wind storm came and blew over fencing, I locked myself out of the house, ripped by pants, hit that garage door, spent the weekend with the worlds crankiest child, caught the flu from my son, gave the flu to my husband, gotten an unexpected $1475 medical bill, eaten terribly – despite my goals. It just feels like I am not in control of anything and its pissing me off!
I took control yesterday – for most of the day – but then my work day ends and I started to eat – graze actually, like a heifer in the field. Just eat a bit of this a bit of that like I can’t quite find what it is I really want. If I could identify my craving or food desire I would just eat it and get over it so I could over eat a couple hundred calories rather than ton.
I think my head is in a better place today. But shit! Things were going all my way – money coming in not a ton going out, pay bills ahead of time and saving for our trip. I just need to get my head in the right place and get the financial stuff back in line so I can start gaining ground again.
It’s funny, when one area of your life goes off the others follow quickly.
I still need to get my pictures. Yesterday was just a big mental beat myself up day and I didn’t get them done. I plan to take them in that same bikini that those pictures from Sunday were taken in. If that is the suit I am comparing myself to – I want to see what the starting point is 🙂