SO I kind of feel these two pictures contradict each other. I mean for the longest time I lived with the mindset on the left. I felt that if thought of anything other than being successful in my business I would fail. All the while I felt bad that I was not being successful. I am sure I was in my own way and that is fine really. I mean I was blocking myself for a reason….why? I’m not 100% sure, but I was.
For OVER 4 years I internally was kicking myself. Beating myself up. Having conversation with people that never took any action – and I blamed myself. I know it was them, I really do know that. But I blamed myself for not being able to motivate them to take action. I talked to people that would ask my advice and turn around and go buy the product on Amazon. That I know had nothing to do with me LOL I talked to people that not 6 months later bought product from someone else and also became a coach under someone else. That was not me either – that was just a bad mesh of personalities. Not everyone gets me and that’s OK. I’m sure the age difference played a role in that.
So again for over 4 years I had this mental thought on loop – I will succeed! And then also add into that – I’m not succeeding – I must be a failure. It’s really no wonder I have yo-yoed up and down so much in my weight. I was having and internal fight about being good enough – worthy enough.
I am by the way.
So this brings us to the second picture. Being able to move from never giving up because “I Will Succeed Period” to “…letting go of things that make you feel bad” was a hard – HARD shift to make. But, I have to say I have never been happier. I love my husband. I love myself. I love where we are in our life together. I am doing very well in my day job. I am appreciated and paid well. I am not really sure why I felt I needed more income outside my day job.
Well – Actually I do. When I started my outside “grind” I was in a dead-end roll and was working for someone that didn’t appreciate the work I was doing. I could not get a raise – because it would mean I would be in a higher pay grade than one of my male co-workers – and apparently that is a bad thing. And I was mentally bored and needed something to challenge me.
Then I got my current roll and I have mangers that care about me and my mental engagement in my job and see the value I bring and pay me for it. I don’t ever plan to stop working really. Even when I retire I intend to work doing something. Craft store – gym, something that involves my enjoyments in life – ohh The Home Depot or Lowes – I love DIY!
With all that said You will succeed at anything you truly want to succeed at as long as you let go of the shit that makes you feel bad 🙂