2019 Ended good enough and I think 2020 started OK, but shit it went down hill fast!
The last time we spoke I was telling you about my mental state and also that I was going to be going to a Plastic Surgeon because of the issues I have been having with my left breast.
When I saw the surgeon, he poked around and said yes, he could see a bit of contraction on my left breast, but noted it was not bad at all. In fact it hardly lined up with the pain and dark discharge I was reporting. He went on to tell me we could open it up, remove the capsule and replace my implants. Because honestly one of my bigger complaints behind the pain was the fact that they were getting droopy. I mainly got my implants back in 2003 to fill them up and stop being droopy. While discussion options, he suggested implant removal and a fat transfer. THAT appealed to me. Never needing to have implant surgery again? Sign me up! I went home and started my research project, as I do with most anything I have to make a decision about.
I stumbled across something called Breast Implant Illness while I was researching breast implant removal and fat grafting. At first I was shocked. And then scared. Soon all of my emotion turned to anger and finally, resolve.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have asked my doctors and chiropractors in the past if any of my health issues and muscle pains could have anything to do with my implants and each and overtime they told me “no, of course not”. Well, I have now discovered that the latest research says otherwise.
So many things I have gone through since January and I don’t even want to relive them all. Surgery is schedule for May 28th. And maybe once I am on the other side of this whole thing I will want to reflect back. BUT as for now, the implants are coming out, I am getting a lollipop lift and no fat transfer at this time. I will give myself some time to heal and reflect on life. If in a year or so I find I really miss larger breasts I’ll look into a fat transfer. Until then, I am looking forward to having them out and getting well.
The getting well is going to take a good amount of time to detox the silicone from my system and I just hope I do it quickly lol Being that I have the MTHFR mutation along with needing to detox it could take a while.
That is that – back to the itty bitty titty committee for me and I could not be more thrilled!
Other things in life…I started on an anti depressant on February 25th and it has helped some. They just upped my dose yesterday and I think that will be better. I was feeling flat. Like not happy but not sad either. Just Meh.
I also started on Vyvanse for adult adhd and it has helped a lot too. That has been good on many fronts. It is the only adhd med that is approved by the FDA for binge eating. Seems stress eating is in the family of binge eating, so it’s been helpful for me, also my desire to squash my anxiety with alcohol each night has also been squashed. So I have energy to think, focus and get things done as well as walk away from a few bad habits.
I had lost 23 pounds from October until the end of February. But then the ‘Rona hit and the stress became overwhelming. I regained 10 pounds of that and it sucks. I had hoped to be down to 125 by the time I had surgery so my tits had shrunk as far as they were going to shrink before surgery lol. I now have 3 weeks to get at least the 10 pounds off that I gained and maybe a bit of progress to the 125. It will be what it will be and I will do my best. I had also bought 5 little boys XL button down shirts to wear the first month or so after surgery (so you don’t have to raise your arms over your head). And I chose little boys, because all I could find in women’s where long sleeved OR really light colors. The first few weeks you could actually bleed on them and you don’t want to ruin a top. So the boys are dark blues and grey, so it would not be noticeable if I got stuff on them while I still have my drains in.
That is all I have for now. I could complain about the state of the world, but it would not change anything and it just makes my bloop pressure rise, so I will change what I can and leave the rest to the Universe to work out.
A few pics to illustrate my life since we last chatted.